The Fouth Pair of Legs is Overkill.

A big spider in my bedroom?

Smoosh it first. Quickly. With a shoe. Apologize to Mother Nature later.

Black Widow Spider

I like praying mantises, dragons, centaurs, generally things with more legs than normal, but spiders are creepy. I understand that they eat insects and unwanted bugs, but I live in the West, were the Black Widow grows huge. And they happen to be very deadly in most cases.

In a way, the Widows are not as scary as ‘hairy-looking’ jumping spiders to me. Things that go bump in the night freak me out, but the things that go jump in the night are even worse. I picked up a plastic pot outside once, and one popped out onto my hand. Thus commenced the shrill squeals.

Rogue Out.

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May the 'U.S.S. Cliche' Sink into a Bottomless Ocean.

My least favorite cliche has to be “Whatever floats your boat.”

 

sunk shrimp boat

Cliches are usually are fine by me >90% of the time, but this saying just makes me irritated. In fact, whenever someone dares utter this to me I have a mental image of someone, stranded in the middle of a ocean of decisions, trying in vain to duct tape a raft.

Saying this to me in the heat of the decision-making doesn’t help me. Boats are held up with steel or wood and special construction, etc. How is that relative to making choices? I am not the most amazing decision maker, and basically telling me ‘whatever you want to do.’ will not make or help me any better at deciding on a plan of action. Its exactly like telling me ‘well, I’ll let you choose by yourself, I don’t care’.

Why not think along with me on what to do instead of tossing out little gibblets of useless cliches?

Therefore, my rebuttal is “And whatever sinks your boat,” followed with a angry scowl.

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I'm Here for the Sweets

I like unusual candy.

 

some chinese candies

Anything with peanut-butter in it is like poison to me, and I’ve never thought candy corn had much flavor to begin with. I’ve always had a special sweet tooth for Almond Joys, Kit-Kats, Pop Rocks, 3 Musketeers, and almost anything with extremely dark chocolate in it. Like the 75% extra, COME TO THE DARK SIDE chocolate.

However, I have to say I really like Asian candies. Pocky sticks anyone? Korean Plum Candy is one of my absolute favorites because it tastes like the perfect plum on a hot summer day.

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I'm Old Enough to Admit it…

I only ‘celebrate’ Halloween because I’m greedy.

 

Automn Mix Candy in Happy Halloween Pail

You know it.

I know it.

The only reason I’ve brought one single sleezy bag of candy home is to sort out my favorites and hand out all the pieces I don’t like to the kids that knock on the door. Okay, so maybe it’s not like that in your house, but it is at mine. I shamelessly give out all the Reese Peanut Butter cups because I hate those and I hoard all the Almond Joys, Kit-Kats, and other candy I can’t bear with handing out to kids.

Halloween shall never be as awesome as when you’re 11-14 because you have free reign of the candy hunting experience. Your parents finally let you go out with friends on a doorbell-ringing, candy-grabbing, screaming, roaming the neighborhood, mulitple rounds at the house with the best treats, candy-trading night in a costume of your choice! This is the event of the year next to Christmas and the first day of summer break!

No, it’s never as good as that when you’re older. I’m not a fan of horror movies at all, so that’s out. Costume parties aren’t as fun for me either, I don’t know why. It’s probably because I have a limited imagination when it comes to dressing up as a scary monster (I’ve always been your generic homemade witch costume).

Now I stay home and watch T.V. with popcorn, and avoid going out (because I know alot of drinking happens on Octuber 31st and that also means someone’s driving). And I’ll don orange clothes to pass out my least favorite candy to kids.

Rogue Out.

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What I Miss About Childhood

I miss rainbow bread.

Homemade Wheat Bread

When I first saw this question on Plinky I imediately thought of my childhood innocence and ignorance. Once upon a time when I was young and had braids, y = no solution was a perfectly acceptable answer. Then PreCal and the bane of my existence was introduced to me and I had to find both complex and real zeros of a polynomial and use ‘rational root theorems’.

But that’s not really, truly what I miss.

I miss the rainbow bread my mom used to buy me from my hometown grocery store. I remember trying to inspect the loafs to see which one had more purple inside. I miss sorting out the colors and eating them one at a time. I miss the fact that even if all the colored swirls in the bread were just tons upon tons of cheap food coloring, it tasted damn good.

Where have the magical moments like that dissapeared to now I’m older? Where’s the rainbow bread of my years?

Rogue Out.

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