How to Enjoy Christmas Lights:

How to enjoy new Chrismtas lights:

  1. Buy new LED lights. Save the environment/save money and all I guess.
  2. Admire pretty packaging and the small box it comes in.
  3. Open box. Pull out bundle of lights.
  4. Once again, admire the nice, neatly wrapped string of lights before you. It will never, ever, EVER look like this again. You may think it’s possible to somehow fold the string into some neat, orderly form, but we all know it will not happen.
  5. Ignore list of instructions (unless it says ‘Help, I’m trapped in the Christmas light factory”.
  6. Uncoil lights and struggle for a whole weekend to place them on the house.
  7. Discover you need more boxes of lights.
  8. Repeat step 7 a couple of times.
  9. House is wrapped! Stare at the awsome glory of your house bathed in bright lights!
  10. After Christmas holidays {read: when the neighbors are tired of seeing your lights still up}, take the lights down.
  11. Stuff them back into the box. Squash the carboard opening in a bit to keep those lights from sticking out. Forget about the semblance of organization and neatness. It will not happen just as a sudden forecast of candy canes raining from the sky will happen.
Well.. That’s what I helped with this weekend.

Rogue.

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