Sincerely, Rogue.

Dear Greek Yogurt,

You make me made. You taste like sad socks whipped in a sad white cream with sad fruit paste under you. Why must I scoop through your stupid tart flavor to eat my fruit? Why not put it on top?

P.S. The ‘delicious’ label on you- yet another lie.

Sincerely, Rogue.


Dear DVR box,

I hate your internal hardware guts. You hate me too, don’t deny it. Just because I want to record old movies at 1 in the morning does not mean you mess it up when I want to watch it. And isn’t there some way to get you to record more than two things at once? Why are there so many instances when you fail utterly? Why is it you fail at night and I have to call the repair man to get a new box (TWICE). You should be called the FAIL box instead.

Sincerely, Rogue.


Dear Peanut Butter,

Why is it everyone loves you? Why do you taste like grease to me? Why do you make me sound like a hater/weirdo when I say I don’t like you?

Sincerely, Rogue.


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